Courter: 21st birthdays should be celebrations for parents

On Tuesday, my oldest will turn 21 years old. For some reason I can't help but feel there should be a big party with some sort of reward, and I'm not talking about for him.

Twenty-one is a big milestone, perhaps the biggest, and really, it's the last truly important birthday in a person's life. After turning 21, the only birthday anyone but yourself cares about is 100. The rest of them are just excuses for a party.

But what I'm thinking here is that parents should receive some sort of pat on the back for getting their kids to 21. Technically, isn't that really our main purpose? At 21, they are considered adults with all of the responsibilities that come with it.

At 21, they no longer need your permission or signature for anything. They can buy you a beer, get their own credit cards, and they can go just about anywhere and do all manner of stuff without needing anyone's help. They also can no longer use the young and dumb excuse.

Theoretically, it means we as parents also are no longer responsible for them. It means we managed to navigate the child through all manner of obstacles, challenges, dangers and tests.

We teach them to walk and talk, and then hope and pray they will know when to sit still and be quiet. We send them to school, and hope they learn only positive and productive lessons. We teach them to drive, and hope they are not nearly as stupid and reckless as we were. We teach them to be independent, and wish they would call more often from college.

When my son was born, I shared with my older brother that I often had intense nightmares about the boy falling off the roof or out of a tree or into a big hole in the yard. My brother said he'd read somewhere that some believed such dreams were a cosmic way that parents take on and battle the dangers the child will face. We have the dreams so the child doesn't have to face the reality.

Whether you believe in such things or not, I've always liked the concept.

I don't for a minute believe that a parent's love or concern or worry ends when the child turns 21, but it is an important milestone and one worth celebrating.

Next up: Graduation day.

* I've bragged on Cody McCarver several times here over the last year, and apparently, I'm not the only fan of the Dunlap, Tenn., country singer. McCarver shared some good news with his Facebook friends this week.

"I was awarded Music Row's Independent Artist of 2009," he wrote. "This award was based on radio airplay. Without the radio requests you guys have made, that wouldn't have happened. So a great big thank you from me to you!"

He also thanked fans for making his version of "White Trash With Money" the No. 1 video on CMT Pure's 12 Pack Countdown.

You can vote for it at www.cmtpure.com 12 Pack Countdown.