My mom is soon going to need a nursing home. Can you advise a particular Web site that can help us to find a more reputable location near our home? Also, what criteria should we look for before making a decision? — Carlton Conscientious

Dear Mr. Conscientious: You’re smart to get your ducks in a row before you actually need them. Too many people operate under the assumption that a loved one will die before an assisted living or, particularly, a nursing home is necessary. And with all the publicity surrounding nursing home horrors, we simply can’t afford to be inadequately on our guards as we search for this final residence for someone whom we love very much. Even the persons who appear to be wealthier than others and who think they can stay in their homes or with family often face the same scenario: money runs out, nursing home and Medicaid steps in.

While several good sites are available, the one I’ve found to have great assistance about a number of related topics is www.medicare.gov. Usually, Uncle Sam knows the best paths of least resistance, especially when it comes to eldercare. Not only does this site help you to compare nursing homes by state, but also it provides us with Medicare and Medicaid provisions. Having been there, done that with my own mother several years ago, I discovered that family members need all the assistance possible when trying so hard to place our parents, grandparents, or other relatives in a safe and compassionate environment. A second “partner” that went out of its way last fall to help with my 96 year-old mother-in-law is www.aplaceformom.com. Great follow-through!

And, yes, I can’t stress enough the importance of the list of crucial conditions for which to search. Moreover, decide upon several nursing homes to scrutinize long before it’s time for Mom or Dad to pack up. Place his or her name on the waiting list(s), but be sure to unexpectedly visit these places before a vacancy arises. So what should you look for in advance? Even though the following suggestions aren’t the entire list, I wish someone had instructed me to their significance before we needed services for my mother. 1) Residents are clean, appropriately dressed, and well-groomed. 2) The nursing home is clean and odor-free. Here’s another reason for those surprise visits; believe me, if the smell of unbathed bodies and sour linens hit you in the face, then move on to the next option. 3) Notice if the occupants congregate around the nurses’ station; my experience showed this to be a matter of convenience for the staff, especially with the wheelchair-bound. 3) It’s really urgent to check out the ratio of Certified Nursing Assistants (CNA) to residents. If one underpaid, overworked CNA has the care of 15-20 residents, regardless of the former’s kindness and support, you can bet your family member probably comes out on the short end of the stick. Discover the number of RNs and LPNs, as well. How about a social worker and, certainly, a licensed physician, preferably those well-versed in geriatric medicine? 4) Make sure the residents or their family can choose from selected nutritional menus and available snacks. Does the staff patiently help residents to eat, especially if the latter have problems feeding themselves? 5) What about activities? Even if some folks aren’t able to actively participate, at least they may choose to take part in songfests, Sunday sermons and so forth. 6) Thoroughly investigate to see that any deficiencies on the nursing homes’ last state or federal inspection have been corrected. If not, run like the wind! And again and again and again, walk in at all hours of the day and early evening, both before occupancy and after your family moves in. If a nursing home has nothing to hide, the personnel always should greet you with open arms.

Comments