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Matinee Melee: 'Journey' is 3-D worthy

By: Holly Leber
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By: Sean Phipps

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Sean Phipps: Well, let’s put on our $2 3-D glasses and settle in for a discussion of the wonderfully exciting “Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D.” We all know the story: A man decides to test his theory that volcanic tubes lead to a virtual terrarium in the center of the Earth, where dinosaurs roam free, giant mushrooms are houses, and bioluminescent sparrows are tour guides. Now, imagine all this excitement directly in front of your face. Holly Leber, tell me what it was like to have Brendan Fraser inches in front of your face. I like saying “in front of your face.”

Holly Leber: I’ll bet you do. Well, I’d have cut a lot fewer classes in college if my professors had looked like Brendan Fraser, who is pushing 40 with style. I’d rather have him in 3-D than, say, a post-“Nine 1/2 Weeks” Mickey Rourke.

The 3-D experience felt pretty odd before we got into the real adventure element of the story (Fraser’s handsome, but it adds nothing to the film to watch him teach a class in 3-D), but I think once the actual journey began, the $2 glasses were well worth it. The 3-D element made watching the movie oddly fantastical, more than sci-fi. I expected to see a gnome. Also I think it really took an obviously unrealistic story from being potentially tiresome into really fun. It was a 95-minute amusement park ride and movie in one. Sean, what about the acting and character interaction. Who had better chemistry, Brendan Fraser and Anita Briem or Josh Hutcherson and his sparrow friend?

Sean: The acting leaves much to be desired, but we have to remember this is, after all, a Brendan Fraser movie. Expectations were pretty low going in. I do want to applaud the efforts of Kaniehtiio Horn as the “gum-chewing girl.” I thought her acting was superb even without a bubble. That last sentence was sarcasm. Despite the acting, I think the movie will prove to be a template for future 3-D films. Seriously, this kind of filmmaking is really, really cool. The Giant-toothed Coelacanth attack was one of my favorite uses of 3-D in the movie. I also enjoyed having tyrannosaurus rex spit in my face. You don’t get that every day. Holly, can you think of an 8-year-old who wouldn’t enjoy this movie?

Holly: Absolutely not. I’m sending my cousin a message to take his 7-year-old and my friend a message to take her 10-year-old. Film snobs be warned: this is no stellar feat of writing or acting. At times I found myself mildly embarrassed for the actors, who had to say some rather ludicrous lines (“Haven’t you ever seen a dinosaur?” “Not with skin on it.”), but “Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D” is not setting out to win Independent Spirit Awards, it’s setting out to be a spectacle. In that vein, the movie is hugely successful. If I weren’t so straight edge, I’d be tempted to see what it would be like to watch this picture accompanied by some sort of mind-altering substance. Not that I’m suggesting anyone does that (I’m NOT), but it’s one of those things that’s hard not to wonder about when giant plants that look like Georgia O’Keefe’s evil side are hurtling toward you.

Sean: Straight edge? You? Holly, I’ve been to your “Studio 54” parties. Don’t mislead our readers here. Back on topic, I do recommend that visually-impaired moviegoers (myself included) wear some contact lenses instead of frames. The 3-D glasses are a bit awkward on top of bulky glasses. It worked, but barely. I forgot about the giant Venus Fly-traps. Those things were scary. Almost as scary as the acting. On another note, there are actually people who adhere to the “hollow earth” theory out there. They weren’t making that up at all. I might want to make the trip one day, especially if all I had to do to get out was light some magnesium with a flare. They made it look so easy it’s a wonder Max, the lost brother of Fraser’s character, didn’t ride the volcanic geyser out himself. I think 3-D movies are going to explode in popularity. Holly, what movie would you like to see given the 3-D treatment? My vote: “The Ring.”

Holly: Now “Studio 54” would be a highly entertaining movie to watch in 3-D. Hmm ... that’s a really interesting question, Sean. I’ll come back to it. I do agree that 3-D will probably become more popular. It really does add an entirely different element to the film. In terms of the greater story, I am so fascinated with people who can create these alternative worlds and science-fiction theories in a way that doesn’t seem like something just pulled out of thin air. It’s just a whole other brand of creativity, and this movie showcases that despite a lack of auteurship. And in answer to your question: I’m going to have to vote for 3-D treatment on my lifelong favorite, “Mary Poppins.” (It was either that or “Nine 1/2 Weeks”).

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