Chipper Jones is likely headed to the disabled list, newspapers are printing stories stating, “Hey, it’s really hot,” and the Washington Nationals are in last place. Ahhh, July. We’ve missed you.

July also marks the continuation of a TFP tradition just a tad less exciting than Mark Wiedmer sneaking Kentucky basketball references into his columns. That’s right: ranking the SEC football schedules! I can tell you’re excited. As we all know, the difficulty of each team’s conference schedule often helps dictate its record (see: Arkansas, 2006 SEC West champion).

Here’s a hint of the hard-hitting information you get in this column: Did you know Florida, Georgia, Kentucky and South Carolina all get off weeks before playing Tennessee? Roy Kramer is clearly not in charge anymore.

OK, let’s break this down starting with the toughest SEC schedule. Fifty-eight more days, people:

1. Georgia

Not only is the schedule brutal, but the Florida game, née Cocktail Party, counts as one of Georgia’s home games this year. Bringing up the schedule during a conversation between two excited Georgia fans is the equivalent of making the screeching-record sound effect.

Change from 2007: LSU replaces Ole Miss

SEC schedule: at South Carolina, Alabama, open date, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, at LSU, Florida (Jacksonville), at Kentucky, at Auburn

2. Alabama

Despite the road games on the schedule, Nick Saban already made his most dreaded road trip this year: to Shreveport, La., last week for his induction into the Independence Bowl Hall of Honor. I kid. But still not quite the plan when he took over at Alabama.

Change from 2007: Kentucky replaces Vanderbilt

SEC schedule: at Arkansas, at Georgia, Kentucky, open date, Ole Miss, at Tennessee, at LSU, Mississippi State, open date, Auburn

3. LSU

Did you see where Les Miles dropped a rare triple-negative at the SEC spring meetings? He said, “I don’t think there wasn’t a guy who didn’t share in what was an SEC championship.” My brain just exploded. Here’s what Miles would say about this year’s schedule: “I don’t believe you wouldn’t want to play both Mississippi schools at home if you couldn’t.” I’m lost.

Change from 2007: Georgia replaces Kentucky

SEC schedule: at Auburn, Mississippi State, open date, at Florida, at South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, open date, Ole Miss, at Arkansas

4. Tennessee

As I noted in the intro, four East schools get an off week before playing Tennessee. The Volunteers, meanwhile, get off dates before UAB and Vandy. Somebody wake up former commissioner Kramer.

Change from 2007: Auburn replaces Arkansas

SEC schedule: Florida, at Auburn, at Georgia, Mississippi State, Alabama, at South Carolina, open date, at Vanderbilt, Kentucky

5. Ole Miss

I’m going to be honest: The schedules look pretty similar from here to No. 9. You just can’t mark South Carolina, Kentucky and Mississippi State as easy wins these days. Although in the Rebels’ case, the Alabama-Arkansas-Auburn-LSU stretch, with three of those on the road, doesn’t sound too fun. Also not fun: the removal of Ed Orgeron from our lives.

Change from 2007: South Carolina replaces Georgia

SEC schedule: Vanderbilt, at Florida, South Carolina, open date, at Alabama, at Arkansas, Auburn, at LSU, Mississippi State

6. Kentucky

Two years ago, I made a Rich Brooks Farewell Tour joke. He’s still there. This is not the road schedule he wanted after losing all those playmakers on offense.

Change from 2007: Alabama replaces LSU

SEC schedule: at Alabama, South Carolina, Arkansas, at Florida, at Mississippi State, Georgia, Vanderbilt, open date, at Tennessee

7. Mississippi State

I would like to hear Sylvester Croom read the schedule aloud, just to hear his booming baritone voice. But even Croom might start shrieking after seeing those first two conference games.

Change from 2007: Vanderbilt replaces South Carolina

SEC schedule: Auburn, at LSU, open date, Vanderbilt, at Tennessee, Kentucky, open date, at Alabama, Arkansas, at Ole Miss

8. Auburn

Olympic fans, soccer fans and Auburn fans love even-numbered years. If you are a synchronized swimming enthusiast from Spain and love Auburn football, this is your year. Last season’s difficult road schedule is this year’s sweet home slate.

Change from 2007: Tennessee replaces Florida

SEC schedule: at Mississippi State, LSU, Tennessee, at Vanderbilt, Arkansas, at Ole Miss, Georgia, open date, at Alabama

9. Arkansas

How nervous will Arkansas administrators be during that first off week? “Where’s Petrino? Anybody seen him? We’ve got Florida and Auburn next. He’s not visiting another school, is he?”

Change from 2007: Florida replaces Tennessee

SEC schedule: Alabama, open date, Florida, at Auburn, at Kentucky, Ole Miss, at South Carolina, open date, at Mississippi State, LSU

10. South Carolina

The Gamecocks better get their quarterback situation figured out, because they get three SEC road games pretty quickly. The odds Steve Spurrier anoints himself the offensive coordinator again by the Georgia game have already been taken off the board in Vegas.

Change from 2007: Ole Miss replaces Mississippi State

SEC schedule: at Vanderbilt, Georgia, at Ole Miss, at Kentucky, LSU, open date, Tennessee, Arkansas, at Florida

11. Florida

Just two true road games since the Georgia and Vanderbilt matchups will be half-filled with Florida fans wearing half of their jeans.

Change from 2007: Arkansas replaces Auburn

SEC schedule: open date, at Tennessee, Ole Miss, at Arkansas, LSU, open date, Kentucky, Georgia (Jacksonville), at Vanderbilt, South Carolina

12. Vanderbilt

Both Mississippi schools, open dates before two of its toughest games and just one scary road trip. I’d say, after 75 years of losing, Vandy deserves this.

Change from 2007: Mississippi State replaces Alabama

SEC schedule: South Carolina, at Ole Miss, open date, Auburn, at Mississippi State, at Georgia, open date, Florida, at Kentucky, Tennessee

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