ARTICLE TOOLS
No answers for wily coyotes
Evidently, coyotes continue to explore city neighborhoods.
Councilman Jack Benson raised the issue during the Legal and Legislative Committee meeting last week. He said he learned of a local resident whose chihuahua lost its life to a coyote.
“What are we going to do about the coyotes?” the councilman asked Lee Norris, deputy administrator of Public Works.
Mr. Norris, whose job also has included working with goats for the city’s kudzu-clearing program, told council members that this matter has been handed to the police department. He said the department was given coyote educational literature to distribute to local veterinarians.
“From everything we surveyed when we called across Canada (and) the United States, the only information they can offer is, ‘Learn to live with them,’” Mr. Norris said. “They have no natural predators. You have to keep your dogs and your cats inside.”
“They are here. They’re not going away,” he continued. “They’re very urbanized animals; they’re going to be here with us. There is no solution to this. They’re one of the wiliest animals to try to trap.”
When Mr. Norris said people can’t shoot the coyotes, Mr. Benson questioned why not.
“You can legally shoot ’em in Tennessee. (There’s) never a closed season on coyotes,” he said. “But I really don’t want, you know, Joe Citizen out there shooting the coyotes, Jack, I’m sorry.”
ALEXANDER AIMING TO AMEND G.I. BILL
U.S. Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tenn., announced on a conference call Thursday that he was filing legislation meant to increase military recruitment and retention rates. The bill would amend the G.I. Bill to increase benefits for members of the National Guard and military reservists.
“The day of the weekend warrior is long gone,” he said. “Guardsmen and women and reservists have been treated more like active military members, especially in Tennessee.”
The bill also would let military members’ families use education benefits and ensure that military members from all states receive the same benefit.
The bill is meant to contrast with a bill introduced by U.S. Sen. Jim Webb, D-Va., which would provide more money to military members from states where tuition costs are higher.
AKINS RESPONDS
Independent sheriff candidate Tim Akins, formerly a sheriff’s staff sergeant who oversaw booking at the Hamilton County Jail, said this week that it would be difficult to get the jail accredited as GOP nominee Jim Hammond has suggested.
“The accreditation process takes several years and officers have to be specially assigned to certain tasks to ensure all the supporting documents are present to back up your accreditation plan,” he said. “We don’t have enough staff now to run the floors of the jail adequately.”
Mr. Akins also said independent candidate Jim Winters’ plan to do an audit of the jail would be expensive.
STILL STANDING
Like he does many weeks, City Engineer Bill Payne sat down before the City Council last Tuesday to present an item for the body’s consideration.
Well, at least he tried to sit down.
“I’m going to stand because this chair’s stuck,” Mr. Payne said, delivering the line during the Legal and Legislative Committee meeting.
Council members and others erupted into laughter.
“It was worth lightening the mood,” Mr. Payne said.
For the record, the city engineer soon was able to sit down in his chair.
God and Mama
In Hamilton County Criminal Court, Assistant District Attorney Boyd Patterson asked witness Bruce Jackson if he was afraid that childhood friend Jereme D. Little would harm him if he testified that Mr. Little had committed a robbery.
“No, sir,” Mr. Jackson replied. “I’m only afraid of one person and that’s God.”
He paused.
“And my mama.”
MORE GOD TALK
After pleading guilty before Judge Barry Steelman in Hamilton County Criminal Court, defendant Krystal Green wished the judge a happy belated birthday.
“Who told you that?” asked Judge Steelman, whose real birthday is in January.
“God,” Ms. Green replied.
“Well, I guess he would know,” Judge Steelman replied to scattered laughter.
Ms. Green left the courtroom shortly thereafter.
The attorney handling the next case on the docket stood to address the judge.
“Happy birthday, your honor,” he said.


